HANS DE VENTE has been a USELESS PARASITE FOR 75 YEARS

His father loathed him. His mother loathed him. 

He admitted that all he ever had in his life was his autistic idiot "wife," who blandly took pictures while the GROWN MAN hopped on a John Deere tractor in his little boy pants, and grinned stupidly.

What do you get Hansy Peter Pansy for his birthday? You guessed it. Aside from endless external drives for his porn and all the music he has stolen from Green, Exy and other bloggers, THIS is what he displays in his government-paid-for sterile Badhoevedorp apartment: 

The childish tantrums, the outrageous lies, the stupid puns and idiotic pranks...75 years of being an ASSHOLE. That's SAKE JOHANNES DE VENTE aka "HANS DE VENTE" and dozens and dozens of aliases all over the Net and on his HUNDREDS of blogs. Over and over, he has been nothing but a monotonous, predictable Quasimodo. His head is his hunchback.

He once said that his mother-in-law was actually NICE to him. Sure, he married her retarded daughter and the government paid for their crappy little home and care. "She told me dirty jokes," Hansy said of his mother-in-law. 

HANS is a dirty joke.  He's been nothing but a pain in the ass to EVERYONE who has had to suffer his lies, his boasts, his moronic paranoia, and his shitty taste in music.

Exactly ONE person wishes "Happy Birthday" to the pesty, moronic, pushy, stupid, boring, obnoxious lying son-of-a-bitch SAKE JOHANNES DE VENTE. 

What, no mention of diverticulitis, tinnitus, the wife falling down stairs, the "it doesn't look good" hospital reports, or the suicide threats because he's had SUCH a "life well lived?" 

What, no discography of Hank Williams or "HAG" to celebrate how a human virus from Holland can manage to keep on infecting the world year after year? 

What, no "you have 10 days to download what I stole from Green or Exy, my way or the highway, I'm the blogfather, here's my NEW BLOG" bullshit? 

What, no "greatest hits" of Hansy good will, like "I wish you AIDS WITH EBOLA" or "I hope you die of cancer" or "Here's his name and address everybody, get him" to his LONG paranoid list of people who trusted him only to have him turn psycho and rabid? 

Hansy Pansy, the Demented De Vente,  can only put on his drag party dress and his aluminum foil hat, and tell a bunch of strangers it's his birthday. How PATHETIC. In the REAL WORLD, the only human he has any contact with is that moribund MOMMY he lives with.

It's like Norman Bates living with his mother. One's a PSYCHO and the other is pretty much a dead waste of space. And vice versa.